Welcome back to the Creative Entrepreneur Society Podcast. I’m your host Jessica Laughlin and in today's episode, I want to dive into the Fear of Failure.
If you resonate with the "fear of failure" driving your fate, you are in the right place to discover how to control the emotions of doubt.
**Entrepreneurship is intriguing, lucrative, and can be very sexy.
On the other side, it can take a hold of your mental health.
**In a matter of seconds, you can go from being on top of the world and giving your dream life everything you've got to doubting yourself.
I've learned that most of us won't make a change unless we're actively unhappy.
We get caught up in the glorification of busyness and the "productivity hamster wheel," never stopping to question if we're doing something that genuinely lights us up.
If it weren't for the accidental discovery of this coaching idea, I might have gone a whole life overwhelmed by self-doubt, never knowing I wasn't living my dreams or how much better life could be.
Soon enough, I became very passionate about helping others break their autopilot circuit and break through the self-doubt and paralysis of perfection.
Here is the deal, It's not about how much or how little fear you feel, but what you do with those feelings.
Most importantly, it's not about eliminating fear altogether. I think it's about knowing how to manage that fear.
I like that I still get a rush of nerves or adrenaline when I'm doing something new, to me, it's a sign that I care about the outcome and that I am human with real human emotion.
It ignites the fire inside of me.
** Fear is something you might see when stepping out of your comfort zone instead of staying satisfied with where you are at.
The trick is learning to acknowledge fear as a self-protection mechanism and then moving on and doing it anyway instead of letting it control your decision-making.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and when things don't go as planned, it's usually to teach you a lesson that you'll need later on for something much bigger.
Sometimes those failures result in a critical discovery, experience, or transformation that will help you take your dream life to the next level.
You might not see it like that at the beginning, but when you look back you will see that it redirected you on a new, better path.
The adrenaline rush that puts fear in most is that it will be on public display, so if it failed or you realize you couldn't make it work, everyone would have known, and for many of us, that is scary or paralyzing.
It comes back to managing your fear response and talking yourself through to the worst-case scenario –
And usually, it's nowhere near as bad as we think it is.
The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward.
But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we're likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.
Let's take a look at some potential causes of the mindset of fear of failure.
Fear of failure is when we allow that fear to stop us from doing what can move us forward to achieve our goals.
Fear of failure can be linked to many causes. For instance, having critical or unsupportive parents or family is a cause for some people.
Because they were routinely undermined or humiliated in childhood, they carry those negative feelings into adulthood.
Experiencing a traumatic event at some point in your life can also be a cause.
For example, say that you gave an important presentation in front of a large group in high school or college, and you did very poorly.
The experience might have been so terrible that you became afraid of failing in other things.
And you carry that fear even now, years later.
Here are some symptoms that you might experience if you have the fear of failure:
* A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.
* Self-sabotage – for example, procrastination, excessive anxiety, or a failure to follow through with goals.
* Low self-esteem or self-confidence – commonly using negative statements such as "I'll never be good enough to get that promotion," or "I'm not smart enough to get on that team."
Or you might have
* Perfectionism –This is A willingness to try only those things that you know you'll finish perfectly and successfully. ( I have to say I am still with this one)
We can choose to see failure as "the end of the world" or proof of just how inadequate we are.
Or, we can look at failure as a learning experience that it often is.
Every time we fail at something, we can choose to look for the lesson we are meant to learn.
These lessons are essential; they're how we grow and keep from making that same mistake again.
Failures stop us only if we let them.
Failure can also teach us things about ourselves that we would never have learned otherwise.
For instance, failure can help you discover how strong of a person you are.
Failing at something can help you discover your truest friends or help you find the unexpected motivation to succeed.
Often, valuable insights come only after failure.
Accepting and learning from those insights is key to succeeding in life.
Okay, now
What if we look at failure a little differently.
Instead of throwing your hands up and saying, “ well, that didn’t work, I guess I’m not cut out for this.”
Instead, say, “ well, that didn’t work. How could I make this better, or what would I do differently next time.”
What if you knew that the best in the business failed over and over and over again.
They didn’t quit.
They keep going, tweaking, asking for help or advice, and trying again.
Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% what you make of it. What are you going to do with your life? It’s your choice?
Let's Evaluate what area in your life you have a fear of failing.
When you think about starting a new career or job, do you fear that you won't be good enough or you will fail?
Instead of going for it, you don’t because you are scared of the outcome and it’s easier to walk away versus face your fears?
When you start a new relationship, do you see it failing before you even begin?
Start looking at the pattern that comes up when you evaluate every aspect of your life.
When you can see the bigger picture of what is holding you back, are you afraid of failure?
We need to unlock what is ultimately holding us back.
Uncover what makes you uncomfortable, work through each piece, and I promise…this will skyrocket your success.
We are just scratching the surface on this topic but it is a great starting point.
Here is a little exercise for you to try:
Write out each instance that makes you uncomfortable in one column and, in another, write out what would happen if you did it anyway.
When you feel yourself thinking of all the ways you will fail at it, change that thought process to
"How will I succeed at it."
* What is ultimately holding you back?
* What stories are you telling yourself?
* How are you working through self-sabotage?
It's important to do the work to uncover your fears. Take uncomfortable messy action and let's release the what-ifs or old stories that we tell ourselves and replace them with all the exciting possibilities.
Thank you so much for joining me today. Join me next week on episode 8. It’s all about how to NOT be afraid of failure. I look forward to seeing you then.
Bye for now.
